Home > Meditation, Nepal, Tibet > Hazell’s Homecoming

Hazell’s Homecoming

I’ve never sat with myself before. We’ve been together all this time and we’ve never sat, never listened. A waterfall of thoughts pervade through my body. They tickle my tongue and fumble down to my feet which are numb from sitting. I fidget and struggle. Is it over yet, can I move? I need to talk to someone, anyone but myself. I come to the conclusion that I am insane.

Everyone else sits still, they focus, they breathe slowly. I’ve never sat with myself before. I try to control the breath. I have six more days of this; sitting with this mad person.On day four I am calmer. I have become a quiet observer. I don’t judge the thoughts but they still come. Now they are like the soft smoke of incense, creeping upwards I watch them. I let them go and they vanish into thin air. I watch the breath. I don’t control it. My body is still. I am learning. My awareness expands and I have to open one eye, just to check I’m not levitating. I’m still sitting on my cushion on the floor. Where I remain. Watching.

  1. Mum
    October 26, 2010 at 7:34 pm

    Love it! I expect to find you a changed person.

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